Vanity Insanity

I don't think ya ready for this jelly

I recently went on a shopping expedition to try and find a new pair of skinny jeans seeing that my old, quite ‘loved’ (code for literally worn until the seams frayed) trusty pair had unsuspectingly burst in the upper-thigh region one fateful day (too much info? Get used to it).

I decided to approach my expedition quite tactfully if I do say so myself, making a mental note of places I had frequented before where I knew I could try on a variety of styles, and adding new places I had seen online or had been recommended by friends. To that list I also added outlets where I had experienced the BURN and was hesitant to try their clothes on as I knew I would spend the day trying to wriggle in and out of them.

**Side Note** the BURN is my code for a place or a person that gives you poor customer service or a particular clothing brand that has sizing 2 sizes smaller than the label states. When you feel the BURN you know you ain’t having them on your Christmas card list.

Back to the story….

So with a list in my head and a credit card without debt I set off to the city. After perusing the aisles of around 3 or 4 shops later, and a seemingly deteriorating confidence, something was becoming more and more apparent…… why for the love of god did I not fit anything properly? Ok that’s being a little over dramatic… but in all honestly in these shops I did not fit the standard size I thought I was.

Now, that being said, I am not a straight standard size. My love of cheese (above all else), bread and corn chips has contributed to me leading a quite voluptuous life If I do say so myself. On a good day I can fit into a 12 to 14 AUS size across the board, on most days I am rocking a 16 (#plussizeandproud). Generally in jeans I am a 14 – 16, I know that, I accept that and I love that… HOWEVER when given the chance I will grab at a 14… even though I might look a smidgen better in the cut of the 16. 

Why is that?

I recently spoke about this with a couple of my girlfriends and came to the conclusion of vanity insanity. Why do we grab at the chance of buying labels with smaller sizes on them? 90% of the time the tags hidden away slapped up onto your skin with NO chance of anyone seeing them, so I came up with a few conclusions of my own:

• In the event of the dreaded tag slip ( when your tags hang out of your shirt and some kind stranger alerts you to your fashion faux pas) the whole world will see what size you are and judge you
• Friends might ask to borrow a certain dress / top / pants that they admire from you and if you were to lend it to them, they will see what size you are and judge you
• Miniature fashion fairies will sneak into your cupboard in the middle of the night and take photos of your super huge size moo moos and post your size on Instagram – and the whole world will judge you (plus there ain’t no backsies once it’s up on the net – that sh!t will haunt you forevs!)

Moral of my story is – we need to stop letting labels run our life! If your booty is rocking the town will come a knocking so quit with the vanity and enjoy life – whatever size you may wear!

If you have any other conclusions of your own I would love to hear them! Tweet me @KushPerth and let’s quash vanity insanity!